Now that Twitter is in Elon Musk’s clutches, everyone’s looking for a social media platform to gab on. I have a great suggestion for those in need of a place to vent their nastiest and funniest thoughts: r/LoveIsBlindOnNetflix.
The subreddit for Netflix’s chaotic-evil dating show, in which couples get engaged to each other before ever meeting in person, is the most fun place on the internet right now. Season 3 is currently airing, with its sure-to-be-disastrous finale streaming Nov. 2. As soon as the first episodes dropped on Netflix, Redditors had their claws out, coming for Love Is Blind’s terrible male contestants, who are wasting several beautiful women’s time.
No one this season is more terrible than Bartise, the 25-year-old accountant who can’t stop talking about how hot he is. (He is, perhaps obviously, not hot.) Despite pairing with the sweetest, most successful woman in the cast (31-year-old speech pathologist/landlord Nancy), Bartise will not shut up about how unattracted he is to her. Reddit will not stand for this, and thus, it has punished Bartise in the best way possible: by giving him some of the funniest, cruelest, most well-deserved nicknames any reality show contestant has ever received.
Click any thread about Bartise, and you will find a slew of them. Barbacoa. Fartqueef. Bart Simpson. Barbeque. Chef Boyartise. Bob’s Burgers. There’s even a whole master list of all the different nicknames people have referred to Bartise as, in case a Redditor can’t come up with one on their own.
The Love Is Blind subreddit is most frustrated with Barsneeze for his consistently awful behavior. Even when the contestants were in the “pods”—the gender-separated spaces that contestants stay in, forcing them to talk to potential fiancés through a wall—he would not stop talking about how he deserved to be with a “smokeshow.” Nancy is a full-figured, beautiful Latina; Febreeze, though he claims to be into Nancy, says he’d rather be with a size-zero fitness model.
Worse, he’s clearly just after Nancy’s money. She has several Airbnb properties, off which she makes bank; Bandersnatch is 25 and spends all his money on his horrible haircut, probably. When he finally gets the dollar signs out of his eyes, he fails to see Nancy for the kind, intelligent woman she is. As soon as she tells him that she’s pro-choice, he loses it; his belief is that you’re allowed to terminate one “accidental” pregnancy, and after that, you are no longer allowed to abort your kid. Which. Okay.
When Nancy meets Baked Beans’ family, she’s forced to admit her views to his pro-life family. This upsets Bellyflop's sister to the point of sobbing, which in turn makes Belize lose all interest in Nancy. (Sidenote: He is weirdly obsessed with his sister.)
It’s a crappy thing to do. And Reddit won’t stop calling him out for it.
“Babadook’s views on abortion don’t even make sense,” one user wrote. “It’s completely wrong to abort a severely disabled fetus, but he’s giving out free passes to abort a healthy fetus as long as it’s just once and the parents are young? Lmaooo make it make sense.”
“Barnacle Boy knew EXACTLY what he was doing when bringing up the abortion topic in front of his family,” wrote a user in a separate thread about the awkward family dinner convo. “He knew how strongly his family would feel about Nancy’s beliefs about abortion yet decides to bring it up.”
“Beef Bourignon needs to get his prefrontal cortex developed before he comes on a show like this and wastes everyone’s time with his immaturity smh,” another said, in a separate thread about his constant doubts over his relationship with Nancy.
Replies on these Reddit threads always fall into two categories: emphatic agreement with the anti-Bolognese chatter, or incredible amusement about whatever name the original poster has dubbed this menace with.
Even if you’ve never watched Love Is Blind—I can’t blame you, as much as I love seeing these rascals embarrass themselves for eternity—it’s incredibly fun to watch an entire subreddit bond over hating one dude. Especially when that dude deserves it.
If Nancy says yes to Barfbreath at the altar in next week’s finale, lord knows r/LoveIsBlindOnNetflix is going to have some harsh yet hilarious things to say about it.
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